There's just so much that you want to put into words but truth be told, thoughts don't come in bite-size pieces. It's compressed thoughts like these that you wished you could somehow dig out, uncompressed and lay them out in plain sight.

Thinking about things every single day leaves me wondering if there will ever be a day when I'd actually stop thinking and live to see the end of that day.

The possibility is highly not likely and it kinda makes you think, what if we do actually live off our thoughts. Interesting, eh?

Prelims are almost over, A's are coming to a close and I'm still intact. That's good seeing that I was doubting my physical and mental state prior to retaking A's.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my friends, those around me who have been sticking sweetly close by like honey.

To my makciks who are like my constant supply of happy pills, Shiqah, Nadiah, Yana and Zakiah, thank you, for having filled my Year 1 and Year 2 life in school with laughter, tears and even those exclusive anguish moments. We could have never gotten past adolescence without each other's raging hormones; Sextalk, eyecandies, chemlab and not forgetting Shiqah's trusted camera that had faithfully snapped memorable events and captured the most unglamorous shots that should be sealed and kept away in the deep and dark.

To Zakiah, who helped me readjust when I returned back to school earlier this year, thank you and for having listened to my woes about the fear of facing my juniors, thank you.

Shiqah, nadiah and yana too for endlessly supporting this decision of mine, for all your notes, for all that warmth and the understanding nod; for being my listening ears, I couldn't have made it thus far and survived, without such heartfelt, precious love.

Shazni, I don't know if you ever come here, but I want you to know that despite everything, you'll continue to be my brother from a different mother. Even though you're away at Mandai camp, I know you constantly text to make sure I'm doing alright, and I am. Such heartfelt thoughts, I'll cherish deep down :) I know life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride and I know how confused you can get if things go too fast or if they don't go your way.

Through whatever, remember to stay strong and you'll eventually figure things out because sometimes to slow things down is the way to go. Slow it down and do pauses okay, remember to take baby steps.

I'm sorry if I've not been there to witness your happy moments, share your sadness&woes and hear you strum blondie like I'd usually do. But whatever happens, you know I'll be here hibernating in my cave. Lure me with fish if you need a bear.

Thank you for constantly reassuring me that you'll be there supporting my every move.

I'm glad I got to know you, thank you for giving me that opportunity. Take care, bro (:

Gadis you brighten up my life like there's no tomorrow, like a honey you are to a Bear, like a candy you are to the eye and so on and so forth. I'm terribly missing you right now because ): yeah. I miss your crazy response towards everything, your laughter itself is madness and your "live for the moment" attitude is really contagious. You're my sister, my punching bag, my bra(supportive&soft&warm&comfortable) and right now, one of the things that completes my life. You're like the stars that I can gaze at for as long as the night lasts and never get sick of, except when I have to take toilet breaks and stuff. I can hug you forever and fall asleep inside the human cocoon those arms of yours provide. Among a lot of things, you're Gadis Mutiara Ashari and the name brings a smile to my face. For all those kolong blok sessions during which I've bawled my eyes out, laughed my ass off, and avenged hatred for a lot of things, I'm truly blessed to have you there with me.

Not forgetting these people, Amirah and Syira, who keeps me motivated to go to school, keeps me motivated to strive for the best and eventually achieve my best. They would constantly tell me that things are going to be okay, assure and reassure me that we'll one day graduate with flying colors and birds and bees and that this extra year is worth the wait, worth the sweat, worth the tears and worth the time. Thank you Amirah, for humoring me with your selengeness and I'm sorry if I've gone too far in bullying you! I know you're used to it, but I don't want you to get physically and emotionally hurt in the process okay. You must tell me if I've gone too far.

But whatever happens Amirah, click on this link: 사랑해

Betcha didn't know my voice was THAT sexy, did you? HellYeahhh!

Syiraaaaaaaa, you're my pillar of salt because you somehow relish in the fact that I am vulnerable to all your taunting, words of sarcasm and evil tricks. I am severely victimized fyi, and tsk, hurt you knowww. But underneath it all, I know you care and love (you better!), and sadistically I enjoyed getting hurt, because it's always the joy and laughter after every "session" that I look forward too. Btw, have I ever told you that I really love the sound of your laughter? It's how to say ah, pleasant to the ears, okay maybe mine. Whatever it is, I'm glad that like Gadis, you're one of the few Crescentians whom I've grown muchmuchmuch closer to as compared to when I was still decked in the holy yellow and turquoise. You provide warmth only someone who craves for it would understand, and I'll remember your laughter as that comforting sound which would constantly reverberate along the corridors. So laugh as often as you can Syira!

There are the few in school who have over this period of 5 months, left an impression on me. I've yet to get to know them, hence I'm truly glad for this extra year because I got to know my juniors like I never did before.

There! About erm, 48% of my thoughts uncompressed, all laid out, and typed out in words.

This long? God knows what goes on inside that messed up head of mine.

Well, at least I've said my peace in this post. Till the next one.

By the way, was browsing youtube for covers to my fav songs, as usual and guess what I came across:

Died I tell you, dieddddddd. But before that, melted. *swoons*