this blogskin is coded by leen with the use of colours from this palette.
Yes, it doesn't.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I love music. It never disappoints.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
You know that feeling when you're expecting something so bad, so freaking bad that you think you could die just waiting for it to happen? In the end, whatever it is that you're expecting turns out to be a fragment of your bloody imagination waiting to turn sour on you. Then all it leaves you with is that sinking feeling of regret. Extreme regret because for once in your life you cannot help but blame yourself for being such an idiot. An idiot for thinking that there might actually be a possibility, the tiniest of possibility even, that something will happen. For believing yes, an idiot for believing that it might happen when in actual fact, it won't.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Sometimes you say all the right things.
And it's all that matters.
:)
Woes, begone.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
On some days I feel like shit, I don't know why but I just do.
This excessive emotional baggage that comes with being a girl is unnecessary. I keep telling myself not to overdo it, I've never been good at handling shitty emotions. I used to cry a lot because I have so much shit stocked up inside my head, I over-think, I keep thinking about things that may never ever happen and it can't be helped, I just do.
I get paranoid, I reflect on my imperfections, I question my reasoning, I judge my rationality and I go against my principles. I'm a hypocrite, yes I am.
No Iezah, don't fall back on your words, live by your principles and never challenge your reasoning. I'm not cut out for these emotional nonsense, because I know I'm born happy.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Honestly, that was pretty harsh. I don't know if you meant what you said but I'm really sorry for intruding into your personal space, I honestly didn't mean it. Please take good care of yourself. Get better soon. (:
Sunday, July 3, 2011
I don't like to be stuck at crossroads. I don't want to do things because I've got an ulterior motive. I don't want to lie to myself, and others. I want to be certain of myself, of what I do, and do things for all the right reasons, based on the right path.
Ya Allah, please show me guidance.
I want to be a better Muslim.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Emotions are a part of us that make us human.
Everyone is entitled to that freedom of expression, it's a given that they are able to channel their emotions the way they want to, the way they feel the most comfortable whilst doing so. No one holds the right to stop others from openly showing sadness, anger, joy or even love.
You show anger through open rage, yes you're infuriated, and so? The most appropriate thing to do (based on majority's standards) is to suppress it, or slowly come to terms with it rather than openly inflicting hurt and affecting others around you. Yes, we do judge and we judge that expression of anger of yours negatively.
How about sadness? Well, you can bawl your eyes out or you can choose to lock it in. Depending on your strength and how well you can seal it in, but for how long though? Let it flow out if you can and trust me, someone will be there to lend you a shoulder to cry on. Don't feel embarrassed. Remember, we are human beings after all and even the toughest of dudes started out as a bawling baby. What makes the rest of us any different?
Joy. Surprisingly, it is one of the few emotions or maybe the only emotion that has "positive outcomes only!" written all over it. Joy is an emotion overflowing with warmth although sometimes injected with a little bit of sadness; all of it coming together to bring about a feeling of intense chaotic excitement. It represents the best of all emotions, an addition of every single emotion with only the best bits in them taken and put together to give you something precious; a smile.
Love produces positive outcomes. That is what everyone expects out of love. Definitely, because love is an apt representation of purity, what other than a pure heart that gives love? Even the most evil of mankind deserves love. Love softens the hardest of hearts and weakens the strongest of strengths. Everyone deserves to be loved just as how they have loved.
One thing though, love cannot be forced. Neither can you buy love nor can you extort it out of someone. That ability to love is a given, hence you treasure it the most you can. You give love to those who deserve, and ultimately you protect your heart from careless love. Do not callously love for the sake of a fling, for that instantaneous joy, the spur of the moment, for a void or a need that you want to fill there and then, because of a temporary attraction, or simply because you haven't found the right person to love. You do that and you're toying with someone's emotions, you simply destroy their right to express love.
Don't love, unless you're ready to give love and accept it as it is.
الحمد لله
Friday, May 27, 2011
I'm living each passing day uncertain of what's going to happen in the next minute, the next hour or even the day after. I assume that's how every single one of us live our days; uncertain and anticipating every minute, every hour up to the point till we've exhaust all our activities, our energy and the possibilities for that one day.
I'm waiting for August, for the start of a new school term on NUS's campus. Alhamdulillah, I've made my choice, which is the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (mt-related).
For this, I'd like to express my gratitude and immense thanks to Allah, syukur Alhamdulillah for this blessing in disguise, an opportunity that I thought was never possible in 2010.
It was difficult to accept the fact that I had to return back to school and retake my A levels in 2010. Up till now I could still remember shedding uncontrollable tears, thinking about the bleak future that lies ahead.
Alhamdulillah, all that changed.
Maturity and determination took over, I held my head high knowing with full certainty that the possibilities are endless, and that failure is only temporary whilst success is imminent.
Thank you to my teachers who have been constantly supportive, my friends who never tire of telling me that I'll achieve success and remind me to give my fullest potential. I will never forget you saviors. Thank you for being there during my darkest days.
And of course, thank you ya Allah for granting me the strength and courage to move on, when I find it impossible to do so. He is the guiding light when everything goes dark, the warmth that embraces me when I'm cold and alone; the answer to all my prayers.
Now here I stand, uncertain of the future yet full of anticipation for a new chapter in my life.
Till then, I'll live every single day with gratitude, with many thanks to the Almighty,
It trickles down like rain, it smells of sunshine and rainbows and everything you wish you could capture in a bottle. It glows like the moonlight, casting an eerie glow over the shadows of your arched back. It shines like a diamond ring and it encompasses the beauty of your smile. It flows like a freshwater stream, a synchronized motion like a dance; it moves in the direction of the underlying currents. It captures your attention like how attraction presents itself to a mate, like how honey appears to a bee, like how love mesmerizes its victim and paralyzes sanity. It spreads warmth in the cold winter storm, it breathes life into still objects and animate the non-living. It kisses me goodbye,
and with a fluttering smile,
it
leaves;
And
I
was
left to wonder
what
it
is.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Sometimes,
I wonder how you're doing.
Bump In The Road
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
We all must go through it sometime
You were not the first, you know
You stick your head in the sunshine
Don't expect the worst, though
If a bird can sing with a broken wing
You'll learn to bend when the wind blows
The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall
This is a bump in the road
Don't give up, you will make it
Don't give up, you will make it
We all must go through it sometime
You were not the first, you know
Love got more hooks than a fish line
Belive it hurts, oh-ooh
Out of the dark
Into the light
Over the edge
Over your life
We all must go through it sometime
You were not the first
You stick your head in the sunshine
Don't expect the worst, oh-ooh
If a bird can sing with a broken wing
You'll learn to bend when the wind blows
The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall
This is a bump in the road
Don't give up, you will make it
Don't give up, you will make it
I have an architecture aptitude test this coming saturday for nus.
Am still weighing my options and I've not come to a conclusion/decision.
I've got an interview/writing test for English Literature (Division of English) for ntu this Friday.
Am still weighing my options but I've probably made up my mind.
Choices are difficult, choices are your opportunities to a better future.
That is if you pick the right one.
I'm glad that I was granted the opportunity to talk things out with my friends who are experienced in both avenues, it greatly helps in this painful decision making.
As much as I'm like a tight ball of nerves right now, it's inevitable that sooner or later I have to face whatever it is that might very well be a door to a better future.
It never really occurred to me that university is the start of one's career until a friend pointed it out to me today and I think that must be what's keeping me up tonight.
I don't usually have trouble sleeping but I find tonight an exception, yes, there are too many things playing inside my head.
And yes, you piss me off sometimes.
I'm sorry, I hope you'll never come across this post but GOD, IT'S BLOODY TIRING TO ALWAYS GIVE IN. EXHAUSTING, MUCH? RAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
If you do, I'm sorry this had to be spelt out in front of yo' face.
I tried to be understanding, acknowledge it will you please? I don't care if you are moody/pissed-off-like-shit but please don't jeopardize an AGREEMENT.
If you can't do it, SAY IT.
I was really hoping for that kind gesture, and you've agreed to help out, remember?
Don't make me get so worked up over such small matters. If there's no agreement to RENDER HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE, by ALL MEANS, pms as much as you want.
It just gets at me that you refused to do your part and it might cause things to not work out at the last minute. Have that courtesy to warn/inform me in advance.
Fucking exhausted as you are, I am too. But did I argue? No.
I was in fact, concerned enough to ask about your well-being
and all I ask is for you to do the same.
There. I hope this frustration dies down and it'll get better. Definitely.
I feel like doing a little research on architecture in the library tomorrow & read up on my lit materials. Then again, 30% of me feels it's pointless.
No, Iezah. That's procrastination talking. Get prep up, woman.
Aye.
Please don't have somebody waiting on you.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
It was enchanting to meet you that night.
"I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home
I'll spent forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you"
I find myself checking fb conscientiously, wondering if your name appears in a section.
It was nice knowing you even though it was for a while.
I wonder if I'll ever get to see you again. I hope I could.
